


Even the Stars They Burn

by zebraljb



Series: Winter Wonderland 2020 [8]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Break Up, Christmas, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Makeup, injured on a mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:35:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28221768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zebraljb/pseuds/zebraljb
Summary: All Harry wishes to do is wrap the presents he's bought for his boy...but Eggsy seems to have other things on his mind.Prompt - wrapping gifts
Relationships: Harry Hart | Galahad/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Series: Winter Wonderland 2020 [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2050998
Comments: 5
Kudos: 67





	Even the Stars They Burn

**Author's Note:**

> So I know this started out sad, but I was in a place today. It was inspired by the Jason Mraz song "I Won't Give Up." Lyrics at the end.

“Eggsy!” Harry calls as he struggles through the front door. “A little assistance?”

“Coming,” Eggsy says, sauntering down the hall from Harry’s kitchen. His eyes widen. “Jesus fuck, Harry, why didn’t you say you was pretending to be a pack mule?” He walks faster, grabbing two parcels and three bags before they hit the floor.

“Thank you,” Harry pants, placing two other bags on the bottom step. “I barely made it up the walk.”

“What IS all this? Did you leave anything in the shops?” Eggsy asks with a laugh. He turns his face up for a kiss but his eyes look tired.

“Are you quite all right, darling?” Harry frowns as he cups Eggsy’s face in his hand. “You look pale…and weary.”

“Dunno about the pale but I’m a Kingsman agent, I’m always weary. Never can catch up on sleep properly,” Eggsy points out, a fact Harry knows all too well. “So, about all this.”

Harry sniffs. “Something smells good. You made dinner?”

“I bought dinner, if that’s all right. You know I love using your kitchen, but didn’t feel like cooking tonight.” Eggsy shrugs. “Grabbed Thai.”

“Excellent.” Harry beams at him. “So thoughtful. One of my favorites.” Harry just has to kiss him again.”

“Right.” Again that odd look in Eggsy’s eyes. “You gonna tell me what all this is or do I gotta dig through the bags?”

“Oh, yes. Of course. If you’d be so kind…” Harry begins to pick things up again and Eggsy follows his lead. Harry heads for his office, carefully clears the desk, and starts unpacking boxes and bags.

“Christ,” Eggsy says, staring at the desk. The flat brown surface is soon covered with ribbons and bows and tape and gift boxes and rolls of Christmas wrapping paper. “That’s…a lot.”

“Well, I have a lot to wrap this year, don’t I?” Harry says with a grin. “I picked up a few things for your mother…I’d like you to approve of them before I wrap them. I shopped for Daisy of course, and Merlin, and Percival, and…you.” Harry all but bounces on his heels as he thinks of the stack of gifts in the upstairs wardrobe. He will spoil his boy within an inch of his life. “I know Christmas is still a fortnight away, but I like taking my time with such things.”

“Wow, Harry.” Eggsy picks up a roll of gold satin ribbon. “This is…something. Not exactly the stuff you pick up at Tesco, is it?”

“I would hope not,” Harry says, slightly offended. “They sell gift bags. I absolutely refuse to put something in a bag and hand it over.” He shudders.

“This…fuck.” Eggsy wipes at his face. “I can’t.”

“I do not require your help, dearest, especially when I’m wrapping YOUR gifts. I simply needed your muscle to carry it in here.” Harry squeezes a delicious bicep.

“No.” Eggsy steps out of reach, crossing his arms over his chest. “I just…I can’t do this. I can’t.”

“Eggsy?” Harry asks quietly. Eggsy seems to fold in on himself, growing smaller by the second.

“I can’t do this. This ain’t…me.”

“I’m not sure I understand.” Harry casually places a hand on the back of his chair, trying his best to hide the way his legs are suddenly shaking.

“I don’t want this. I don’t.” Eggsy tilts his chin up defiantly, although his eyes are wet with tears.

“What?”

“This ain’t what I signed up for. Was supposed to just be a few rolls in the hay now and then,” Eggsy says with a laugh that sounds nothing like his own. “Not gifts for my girls and…”

“I can take them back,” Harry says quickly. “I simply thought…it’s been seven months and…I’ll take them back. If I overstepped I do apologize.”

“Yeah…yeah, that’s it. You overstepped. Pushed too hard, did too much. You always do too much,” Eggsy says, seeming to gain steam as he goes. “You’re always telling me how great I am and showing me how much you love me. You call me your darling boy and your dearest and yeah. Don’t want that.”

“I can stop,” Harry offers, although he knows that is impossible. There is no way he could go through life with Eggsy Unwin and not try to show him his value.

“You will stop, because I’m done. We’re done.” Eggsy bites his bottom lip, turns on his heel and leaves the office. Harry is left to stare after him, wincing as the door slams shut.

“Arthur.” Merlin barely holds onto his composure as he enters his office. “I dinnae remember giving you permission to enter this office without my approval.”

“You did not,” Harry agrees. “But I am Arthur, so you really cannot do much about it.” He holds out a cup. “Tea? It is my special blend.”

“Kind of you.” Merlin removes his coat and hat, turns on his various devices, and finally takes the cup. “Smells delicious.”

“You are quite welcome. It is Christmas after all…a time for sharing, for showing the ones you love how much you value them.”

“The ones you love?” Merlin’s eyebrows go sky-high. “Are ye trying to tell me something, Harry? I thought your heart was already taken.”

“It was…but apparently it has been returned.” Harry actually rubs a hand over his chest. He’d gotten exactly sixteen minutes of sleep the night before, tossing and turning in bed as he tried to figure out what he’d done to shove Eggsy away.

Merlin removes his glasses and looks at him for a long moment. “Galahad sent me a message late last night, asking if there were any missions available over the holiday, something he could do to relieve an agent with a family. I was quite curious, but now it seems I have found the answer as to why.”

“That was quite kind of him,” Harry says. He clears his throat. “He informed me yesterday that he no longer wishes…that he doesn’t want…I apparently was smothering him with attention and he has terminated our relationship.”

“Terminated…it is nae a contract, Harry.” Merlin opens a drawer and pulls out a flask. “Never too early.” Harry eagerly holds out his cup. “Explain.”

“There is nothing to explain. We were happy, so I thought. Apparently he wasn’t. We were in a special relationship, destined to spend many happy years together, so I thought. Apparently we weren’t.”

“Harry, Eggsy’s heart is large and quite soft. This seems quite out of character for him.”

“You don’t have to tell me what I already know.” Harry pinches at the bridge of his nose. “We were fine, and then I brought home wrapping paper and discussed the gifts I had to wrap, and he decided we needed to break up.”

“And ye let him go.”

“At that moment, yes, I let him go. I was too shocked to do anything else.”

“And ye are willing to just…go along with it?”

Harry thinks for a moment. Part of him, the gentlemanly part that hates rocking boats, that part wishes to just go along with it. The rest of him, however, the part that loves Eggsy with his entire body and soul…that part wishes to hold on and never let go. “No,” he says finally. “I am not willing to do that. Not without a proper explanation. He seemed confused…torn.”

“Unfortunately I replied to his message in the affirmative,” Merlin says almost apologetically. “Tristan was supposed to go to Egypt, and as ye know, his sister is nae doing well.”

“Yes, I heard,” Harry says with a sad sigh. “Cancer, is it not?”

“Aye, and she has a husband and three children. I have given his mission to Eggsy. He will be gone four to six days.”

“I understand. I will think about things and simply bide my time.” 

Harry isn’t ready to let Eggsy go. Not now. Not after everything they’ve been through.

Three days later Harry is returning to his office after an excruciating workout in the gym when he receives a ping on his glasses. He touches the side. “If you are calling me to have a few laughs at my expense, I’m hanging up,” Harry says. “I know you saw Tor wipe the mat with my arse.”

“Harry, there’s been an accident,” Merlin says quietly and Harry stops walking. “It’s Eggsy. He should be landing within the hour. I thought ye would like to know.”

“That was very thoughtful of you,” Harry murmurs.

“He will nae be able to have visitors, of course, not until they’ve stabilized him. Once the medical staff are through, I will contact ye again.”

“Might I ask what happened?” Harry whispers.

“An unplanned explosion,” Merlin says before terminating the call.

Harry goes to his office and completes three mission reports. He does a very lengthy write-up for the Ammunitions team, giving his opinion on a few new firearms they are thinking of working into the Kingsman rotation. He goes to the kennel and looks at the puppies, his breath cold in the afternoon air as he watches them gambol about in their play yard. He is there when he receives another ping.

“Ye may come see him now, Harry. I will be waiting for ye.”

Harry doesn’t exactly remember the walk from the kennel to the manor and then down to Medical. He remembers saying goodbye to the dogs, nodding hello to an agent out for a run in the brisk December sun, and opening the door of the manor. Other than that, however, he remembers nothing. He slows down as he approaches Merlin, who is seated outside one of the rooms. “Merlin.”

“Arthur,” Merlin says respectfully. He pulls out his clipboard and begins his report, just as he would for any agent who has been injured on a mission. Only the shaking of his hands belies his emotions. “As I said, the warehouse was not as empty as we originally thought. Galahad was shooting his way out and then…” Merlin gives a tiny shrug. “Thankfully we were working with two teams in the area, and Percival was not far behind. He pulled Galahad from the wreckage and…”

“Wreckage?” Harry asks, the word a low moan.

“Aye.” Merlin swallows hard.

“And his injuries?” Harry is almost afraid to ask.

“Sprained ankle, a few broken fingers.”

“That’s not so bad.”

“He apparently took quite a blow to the head when the building came down,” Merlin adds. “He’s been unconscious since Percival found him, although his vitals are normal otherwise. We will allow his body to rest and go from there. He’s been through a great deal of trauma, of course.”

“Obviously,” Harry snaps. He sighs. “I beg your pardon, Merlin.”

“I understand.” Merlin puts a hand on Harry’s shoulder and squeezes. For this moment they are Hamish and Harry, best friends…not Merlin and Arthur. “He’ll pull through. He’s strong.”

“He is.” Harry swallows hard. “Thank you, Merlin.”

“You’re welcome, Arthur.” Merlin steps aside. Harry takes a deep breath and opens the door.

“Harry, what are ye doing?” Merlin stares at Harry as he maneuvers his cart off the lift.

“Good morning, Merlin. I am off to visit Eggsy, of course.” A roll of wrapping paper slides off the cart. “Oh, bloody hell.” Harry bends down to retrieve it. 

“But…why?”

“Because I love him and I will not allow him to lie in Medical all by himself.”

“It’s been three days, Harry. Have ye slept?”

“Here and there,” Harry says vaguely. 

“He is not alone, Harry. There is a well-trained medical staff looking after him around the clock.”

“Not the same,” Harry says sharply. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have things to attend to.” Merlin shakes his head and sighs. “Good day.”

“Good day,” Merlin growls.

Harry carefully pushes his large cart down the hall to Eggsy’s room, offering a pleasant good morning to everyone he sees. He saves his best good morning for the one person unable to reply. “Good morning, my dear boy.” Harry barely hesitates before leaning down to kiss Eggsy’s forehead. “I hope you had a good night. I slept well…when I slept.” Harry touches the pale cheek and tries not to notice the bandages and wires and bruising. His boy is still alive and that is all that matters. “I hope you don’t mind if I work while we talk today…Christmas is just around the corner and I never did get around to preparing the gifts.” He opens a bag and gets out two boxes. “I would have preferred to get your blessing on these, but needs must. For your mother, a gift certificate for a full day’s pampering at a luxurious spa…with babysitting services offered, of course…and a lovely silver necklace. I think it will look quite nice on her.” Harry finds his scissors, opens the tape, and begins to cut paper. “Nothing too elegant, of course…I do not wish for her to feel uncomfortable. But she deserves some pampering and glamor, don’t you think?”

Harry doesn’t wait for a response. “I suppose my favorite part of gift-wrapping is the ribbon. I love making extravagant bows and the like. I do not think I ever told you, but my grandmother taught me to do this. I used to tear into the paper like every other little boy, but one year I realized that her gifts looked much fancier than everyone else’s. I asked her why, and she said that anyone could wrap a gift, but when you took the time to make it beautiful, you were adding to the Christmas magic.” Harry finally looks up at the figure on the bed. “I know what my Christmas wish is this year, darling.” He gently squeezes the uninjured ankle. “I wish for you to open your eyes and look at me. Even if it’s to remind me that you no longer wish to be a part of my life.”

Harry clears his throat, wipes at his eyes, and finishes wrapping the two boxes. “Now for Daisy. I know, I know…you think I have gone too far, but she is such a charming little girl, and I had such a good time finding gifts for her. And don’t worry, I will not waste too much time and energy into making her gifts fancy. She is a bit too young to appreciate them. And even if we…if you and I…even if we are no longer in a relationship, she still feels like family to me, and I would like to give her these presents. I hope you don’t mind.”

Harry finally stops and takes Eggsy’s hand. “I’m not ready to give up on us, darling. I love you so much…you are such a blessing to me. You’ve opened up my life to so many wonderful things. From what you said I gather you feel pressured…or smothered. I will do my level best to pull away, to not try so hard, if it is what you want.” Harry’s lips tremble. “It is quite ironic. I was trying to make you want to stay, and all I did was push you out the door.” He draws a ragged breath. “I am quite stubborn, you see, and am I not willing to let you go so easily. Not without a fight…or at least an intelligent conversation. Because I thought…I thought you loved me as much as I love you.” Harry takes out his handkerchief and wipes at his eyes. “But now…back to the presents. Thankfully you cannot actually SEE how much I’ve bought for Daisy, because I’m sure you’d…” Harry freezes and looks down at his hand, where Eggsy’s fingers are tightly gripping his own. “Not that the pile of gifts for her could hold a candle to what I’ve bought for you, my boy. I figured I would ask Merlin for the passcode to your flat and just leave them there…like Father Christmas. Because all good boys deserve presents on Christmas morning, even if they’ve…” The fingers squeeze again and Eggsy’s eyes slowly open.

“Harry.”

Eggsy’s fingers slowly twine with Harry’s. Harry clears his throat. “Hello, Eggsy. Shall I call for the nurse?”

“No, not…not yet.” Eggsy looks around the room for a moment. “There was an explosion.”

“Yes, I’m afraid there was. You were hit on the head by…”

“No. In here.” Eggsy slowly points to the pile of gifts and wrapping paper behind Harry. “What the fuck?”

“Oh. Well, I had things to do, and I wanted to be with you, so…” Harry shrugs. Eggsy looks at the cart, looks at Harry, and a tear slides down his cheek. “Darling, let me call for the doctor if you’re hurting,” Harry begs, fumbling about on the bed for the call button.

“No. Not hurting. Not like that.” Eggsy swallows hard. “I love you so much, Harry. You’re amazing. You’re perfect and gorgeous and everything. I can’t…I can’t live up to that. I ain’t good enough for you.”

“Eggsy Unwin.” Harry stares at him in genuine shock. “Whatever are you talking about?”

“Your house was perfectly decorated. You got all the fancy paper and ribbon.” Eggsy closes his eyes. “I usually wrap my gifts in fucking newspaper, Harry, cuz we never had money for that sort of paper.”

“I wouldn’t care if you wrapped gifts in greasy fish paper, dearest,” Harry tells him.

“I come from nothing,” Eggsy protests.

“But you ARE everything,” Harry corrects. “At least to me. If we were exactly alike, how boring would we be?” He looks into Eggsy’s beautiful eyes. “If I’ve pushed too hard, gone too far, I’m so very sorry.”

“No, you didn’t, swear down,” Eggsy whispers. “Only said that cuz I couldn’t think of anything else. I couldn’t tell you that I didn’t feel good enough for you.”

“You silly beautiful fool,” Harry says through his own tears. “If anything, I am not good enough for you.”

“Do you really got a pile of gifts for me?” Eggsy asks timidly.

“You heard that?”

“I heard most of what you was saying after you came in, just wasn’t ready to talk yet,” Eggsy confides. “You was gonna bring it to my flat like Santa.”

Harry smiles shyly. “Yes…even if you didn’t want to see me any longer, I wished to give you your gifts.”

“I don’t want them at my flat,” Eggsy tells him.

“Oh. Very well.” Harry tries very hard to hide his disappointment. “I will simply bring them…”

“Wanna open them with you on Christmas morning. Want them under YOUR tree.” Eggsy brings Harry’s hand to his lips and kisses it. “That is, if you can forgive me for being an idiot.”

“I believe I could forgive you for just about anything, my darling boy.” Harry smiles as he leans down to kiss Eggsy’s forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> When I look into your eyes  
> It's like watching the night sky  
> Or a beautiful sunrise  
> Well, there's so much they hold  
> And just like them old stars  
> I see that you've come so far  
> To be right where you are  
> How old is your soul?
> 
> Well, I won't give up on us  
> Even if the skies get rough  
> I'm giving you all my love  
> I'm still looking up
> 
> And when you're needing your space  
> To do some navigating  
> I'll be here patiently waiting  
> To see what you find
> 
> 'Cause even the stars they burn  
> Some even fall to the earth  
> We've got a lot to learn  
> God knows we're worth it  
> No, I won't give up
> 
> I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
> I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make  
> Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
> The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake  
> And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
> For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn  
> We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
> I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not  
> And who I am
> 
> I won't give up on us  
> Even if the skies get rough  
> I'm giving you all my love  
> I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up
> 
> Well, I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)  
> God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)  
> We got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)  
> God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)
> 
> I won't give up on us  
> Even if the skies get rough  
> I'm giving you all my love  
> I'm still looking up


End file.
